Archive for January, 2012
Not such a good day
January 16th, 2012 | 
Author: 16th January 2012
Thanks to some gossiping my mood plummeted again and I haven’t been able to concentrate. What makes it worse it’s church people gossiping instead of talking to us. It’s been sorted with the elders but all it’s done is lower my self esteem and I have lost my trust again in these people. It annoys me as these people know better and should have come to Rick and me. I hate suffering with severe depression without the added pressure of having to deal with gossipers.
Last week I sent an update of medical information to Anthony via his adoptive parents. I chose to do it this way as I’m tired of the accusations made in the past so involving his adoptive parents stops the imagined wrongs. It’s a really petty way of dealing with the situation but I learned long ago that I needed witnesses ready for every time Anthony threw his toys out of the pram. In some ways he reminds me of myself when I was young. The only difference is I have always admitted when I am in the wrong. Anthony never admits to being in the wrong which he has been at times. I don’t expect any response though which doesn’t worry me as I know I am doing my best by him.
Despite having a wobbly start to the year I am determined to do more this year. One of my aims is to complete the novel I started recently. At the moment I am going over the start of the story as I wasn’t completely happy with it. Now it is forming much better. There are other things I want to work on although I know I need a confidence boost first.
Posted in 
New Year, new start
3rd January 2012
I am feeling much better now. Each day has got easier and I have had a good start to the new year. We didn’t go out New Year’s Eve as our dogs are scared of fireworks. Bruno hides but Chyna sits on me and leans but I made sure I was in bed this time as it’s a bit more comfortable than being on a chair with her on me. New Year’s Day we were in church in the morning then friends were round in the afternoon with their children. They come from South Africa but have lived in the UK for several years – the children were born in England. The family had gone to visit family in South Africa for Christmas so it was the first time we had seen them since they got home. It was funny watching their son playing with Chyna as he kept telling her off when she tried playing with him (he is only four). Eventually she sat on him and leant so he had to cuddle her to stop falling backwards.
I have made a start on concentrating on a novel I started recently. The main problem I’m having has been the flow off visitors we’ve had the past few days. From tomorrow it should be easier to have a couple hours each day to concentrate on it. Writing is helping now so I thankful for that.